Shaving Your Head

Today we met with a lady who is now a 7-year breast cancer survivor. She is strong, confident and filled with passion for life. As we were talking, we got on the subject of going bald. It's something that still happens to many cancer patients as we are still forced to prescribe chemotherapy to many of them. Our hope is that as newer therapies are developed, we will see more targeted therapies that don't cause hair loss.

Meanwhile, people ask us a lot about Bill's hair loss. I think for men losing the hair on their heads is not nearly as troublesome as it is for women. But the truth is, it's not just about being bald. That's not the troublesome part. It's that something as ugly as cancer caused you to have to take a poison that wiped out your hair! It kinda makes you mad no matter your age or gender.

When Bill woke up after his very first treatment, his hair was all over his pillow. As I began dusting it off, I flat out asked him, "Do you want the chemo to take your hair or do you want the kids to do it?" Nervously, he chose the kids.

Dylan was 3 years old and Morgan was 5 years old. I got out the clippers and let each of them shave one side of his head. We were out back on the deck and we made going bald a family affair. In some ways, that made it a fun event for us all instead of a sad one. The day we did this we were laughing, but when I think back to it, I get teary eyed. A young daddy with his kids enduring this is quite an emotional experience.

Every patient does this in their own way. It's so interesting to hear the many stories out there. If you drop by the blog and have one of your own to share, let us know.

Talking To Kids About Cancer

When a parent or grandparent or close relative, friend or neighbor or even a sibling is diagnosed with cancer, the time comes to decide about revealing the news. Some adults worry about talking to kids about a cancer diagnosis and wonder if and how to do so. Here are some helpful ideas for those of you trying to decide:

Can kids handle the truth about cancer?
Nothing is easy about cancer. It's not easy for grown ups and it's not easy for kids. The decision to talk about a cancer diagnosis with your kids is yours. You should not be judged for your decision. Only you know your family and what is best for you. Following are some considerations to make in your decision:

• Sometimes the truth is impossible to avoid. Many cancer patients will change physically while undergoing treatments. Parents with small children may need to hire babysitters or let their kids stay with friends or relatives while they undergo treatments. Telling the kids might just not be an option.
• Interestingly, kids really do see and hear more than most adults realize. They might just sense that something is going on and have a lot of questions they are afraid to ask because they have been kept in the dark. If they begin to show signs of fear, it might be a good idea to tell them that something is happening.
• Kids can be a part of the fight against your disease. They will feel much safer and confident if they can be included in the cancer diagnosis. Let them do things like fetch you a warm blanket or help shave your head. Make this a family bonding experience, a time for you all to join forces against a terrible disease.
• If you are open and honest, kids will tend to ask questions. They have these questions whether they feel comfortable asking or not. If they feel like you'll be honest, they will ask. So, it's important to be honest even if they ask the hard questions. If a child asks about death, it's best to say you don't know if you'll die, but then remind the child that many new and wonderful therapies have been developed to help get rid of your cancer.
• Sometimes, depending on the age of the child, it's important to find someone other than yourself for the kids to talk to. A school counselor or clergy member or a trusted friend are good options.
• When talking to your kids about cancer, they might want to know what cancer is. There are many great resources available to help explain cancer to children. Be sure to ask your doctor or hospital staff to help guide you to the right place.

A few years ago, I partnered with The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, MD Anderson Cancer Center and Dr. Fredrick Hagemeister to create a Children's Cancer Program. Children ages 4-12 attended the program which was held on four different occasions. A 40-minute video of one of those programs can be viewed HERE.